Grief is something that is universally experienced, but very individually felt.

The grief process can be emotional, challenging, and isolating. The pain and the journey are rarely a linear process, manifesting in emotional, physical, and spiritual forms.

When someone you love is grieving, it’s natural to want to jump in and help them. Unfortunately, there’s no option to take away their pain and suffering. What you can do is offer them support that allows them to feel seen and heard.

Having an understanding of how to support someone who is grieving will strengthen your bond and make you more empathetic overall. Here we’ll explore various ways you can be supportive.

Acknowledge Their Loss

One of the easiest ways you can offer your support is to simply acknowledge the loss that’s occurred. Meet the person who is grieving where they’re at.

Don’t be afraid to use the person’s name in conversations. Similarly, don’t avoid stories or topics that you feel would be awkward. Sometimes, remembering the person is healing in itself.

You should also avoid joining in on the cliché phrases that are on repeat after a loss. Instead, use phrases like “I’m sorry for your loss” or “I can’t even imagine how hard this time is.”

Be Present

Grief can be tricky for the people on the outside. Many people are natural “fixers” and want to step in to fix the problem. For the person grieving, this approach can often be counterproductive.
Offer your presence without trying to fix anything for them. Being present and making sure they don’t feel alone can go a long way. Even if it involves sitting in silence. When they’re ready, they’ll open up about what’s going on. When that happens, be an active listener without judgment or offering solutions.

Offer Practical Help

During a time of grief, daily responsibilities may take a spot on the back burner. One thing you can offer is assistance with basic needs. This may include childcare, meal prep, errand running, or even making bill payments.

When you offer practical help, be as specific as possible. Asking “What can I do?” may be too vague, and in all honesty, they may not have an idea. Instead, ask them if you can bring dinner on Monday or if they would like you to watch their children on Tuesday. In this instance, yes or no questions take off some of the burden.

Respect Their Grief Process

It’s important to remember that everyone grieves differently. It’s a very personal and situational process. The response and symptoms you see may not align with what you’re familiar with.
Allow them to grieve at their own pace and don’t hurry them along. When you have the opportunity, help validate their experience and relative feelings. If they have days where they need to withdraw, let them know you’ll be here when they resurface.

Check In Regularly

Grieving doesn’t have a hard endpoint. Once the immediate impact of the loss passes, odds are the grief will still be there in some capacity. Continue checking in on them in the upcoming weeks and months. Even if it feels unnecessary, it’s likely to be appreciated.

Make a mental note of important dates like anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays, as these can be triggering and emotional days.

Be Patient

Grief is not a linear process and can come in waves. There are going to be good days and setback days. Even if you’re offering the best support system and assistance, there will still be off days. Try not to take these days, or any mood swings, personally.

Encourage Therapy

When the time is right, and if they’re open to the idea, you can suggest grief counseling as an option. There are support groups and individual therapy that can help improve their quality of life during this process.

Researching options and resources can be a huge help. Contact us to learn more.

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Disclaimer: This website does not provide medical advice or therapy and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional therapy. The information contained herein is strictly for informational—and inspirational—purposes. You should always seek the advice of a qualified professional for any questions you have about your own wellbeing, and you should never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it based upon something you have read on this website.

If you are in a crisis, please contact 911.

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