By Ashley Freydenfeldt
Clinical Intern
Supervised by Paula Boros, PhD, LMFT-S AAMFT Approved Supervisor

We all have an inner critic—a voice that whispers (or shouts), “You are unworthy” or “You are not good enough.”

While it may seem harsh, this critical inner voice was originally developed to protect us—to shield us from external criticism, rejection, or shame. In childhood, it was often necessary for survival. However, as we mature, this voice no longer serves us in the same way.

The tool that once helped us survive now keeps us stuck. Instead of offering protection, it perpetuates self-doubt, making it harder to embrace growth and healing. The key to healing is in unlearning these previously helpful yet outdated coping mechanisms.

So, what can we do when the inner critic pipes up? The next time you hear that familiar voice, try these steps:

  1. Acknowledge it – Don’t fight the inner critic. Acknowledge its presence and understand that it’s trying to protect you.
  2. Thank it – Show appreciation for its concern. This may sound counterintuitive, but thanking your inner critic allows you to recognize that its intentions are rooted in protection, even if they are misguided.
  3. Replace it – After acknowledging the negative thought, consciously replace it with a positive one. For example, swap “I’m not good enough” with “I am capable and deserving of success.”
  4. Move on—Don’t dwell. Once you’ve acknowledged and replaced the thought, allow yourself to move forward.

Learning to approach ourselves with self-compassion instead of harsh judgment is vital to the healing process. By honoring the inner critic’s role and consciously choosing more compassionate thoughts, we create space for personal growth and resilience.